Keeping It Real

The Pros and Cons of a Bad Day

Let me start by saying this: this blog is about today. Yesterday was full of great moments, and I am so grateful for all the love, support, and good things that happened. None of that is lost on me. But today? Today is a bad day, and that’s what I’m unpacking here. It’s not about anyone in particular, and it doesn’t take away from all the positives that came before. It’s just where I’m at right now.

But I promised to put it all out there—not just the sarcasm, not just the medical updates, not just the good. So here it is: today is a bad day. There’s no singular reason, no big dramatic moment, just a heavy heart and a lot on my mind. And you know what? That’s okay. I’m not being negative, I’m just human, and sometimes feeling overwhelmed is part of the deal.

So, here’s the deal: I’m going to lay out the pros and cons of my bad day, because if I’m putting it all out there, I might as well do it with honesty, humor, and a little gratitude. Plus, the pros are now out there making me smile.

Cons

The Wig: I apologize to anyone who mistook my sarcasm for excitement. As I sat in the chair, poor Charlotte had to watch me turn green and nearly throw up. I didn’t want to be there, so I picked one out as fast as I could. It felt like speed dating for hair—awkward, rushed, and mildly traumatic. And the cost? $4,000. At that price, I expect it to vacuum my house, cook me dinner, and maybe even put a comforting hand on my back.

Endless Phone Calls: Dana-Farber has me on speed dial. Between follow-ups, reminders, and scheduling, it’s like having a second job. And then there’s the friendly reminder: “We do cancer, but you still have to handle the other stuff.” Which means I get to make more calls to general surgeons and other specialists to deal with things like the hernia they don’t cover. Add “personal assistant” to my list of roles.

The Emotional Disconnect: Somehow, people are missing the fact that my emotions are here for a reason. I’m still processing. I can’t just skip over my feelings because someone wants to jump straight to giving advice or telling stories. I’m not there yet, but I will be. I promise. Just… not today.

Post-Op Reality Check:

Oh right, I had surgery two weeks ago. You’d think that’d stop me from running around like I’m auditioning for a marathon, but no. Healing? Who has time for that? Between appointments, phone calls, and trying to keep everything together, I keep forgetting that I’m supposed to be recovering, too. Not exactly helping the healing process.

The Five Stages of Grief: Grief comes in layers, and while I’m not in denial anymore, today I’m angry. Angry at the system, the circumstances, and everything that feels unfair. And that’s okay. It’s just a bad day, and I’m letting myself feel it.

General Overwhelm: It’s one of those days where everything feels heavy. I’m not broken, but I’m definitely feeling the weight of it all.

Pros

Pilates Chaos: Teaching Pilates to my wild crew is always a bright spot. These ladies keep me laughing, yell random song requests, ignore half my instructions, and basically do their own thing—but in the best possible way. A special shoutout to Margie, Meredith, and Renee for being absolute chaos agents in all the right ways.

Charlotte: The Friend Everyone Needs

Last week, Charlotte sent me a message out of the blue: “Let’s go get your wig.” Not only did she say it, but she showed up, picked me up, and drove me into Boston—even though she just had a hip replacement. She sat through the wig appointment, took me to lunch, and drove me home, all while I spent the entire time on the phone with doctors, barely holding it together.

As I was climbing out of the car, she looked at me and said, “I am so impressed with the compassion all your doctors have.” Thank you, Charlotte, for reminding me I’m in great hands—and that I’m going to be okay.

New York Team: My surgeon in New York called, and the conversation was exactly what I needed. The compassion in his voice was incredible. He didn’t just ask about the medical details—he wanted to know how I’m doing, how I’m feeling, and how this all happened. He and his team are still trying to connect the dots, even though they know some of this goes back further than they can track. That level of care and commitment means the world to me. It reminds me that, no matter how overwhelming this gets, I’m not alone.

The Challenge Questions: Every time someone answers one of my challenge questions, it warms my heart. It’s their way of telling me, “We hear you, we see you, and we care about you.” And here’s the best part—when someone responds, it opens the door for me to share more if I want to, without any pressure. It’s the perfect way to connect with me right now.

All in all, it’s the good and the bad, the pros and the cons. I’ll take both, because this is life right now. And even on bad days, I know I’m going to be okay.

Challenge Time

If you’ve made it to the end of this blog, here’s your challenge: Text me directly or comment below with any emoji (and let me know you’re with me).