While I am Away ... Food for Thought

Wait! What about Blood Work?

I can’t even tell you what I was working on when it suddenly hit me: Wait. They haven’t taken a single lab.  I have not had any blood work or labs since Spring of 2024. True Dat. No hemoglobin, no liver, no kidney? Aren’t these things tied to breast cancer? Don’t the numbers show anything? Apparently not. You’d think they’d at least check the dipstick to see if this whole thing is even running. But no. Apparently, blood work is so last season in the world of cancer staging.

Here’s the deal:

Over the past 11 years of my what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-me saga, my labs have been anything but boring. Liver function? Off. Kidney function? Off. And let’s not forget my personal favorite: an ANA level at 1:640. For those keeping score, that’s high enough to make someone say, “Hmm, maybe we should look into this.” But no. Apparently, staging cancer is more of a “get the images, take the tissue, and run with it” kind of vibe.

So now, I’m left here wondering: why haven’t they poked me with a needle to establish some sort of baseline? With everything I’ve read (and trust me, I’ve read all the things), blood work apparently doesn’t tell you how far cancer has spread. That’s what imaging and biopsies are for. But am I the only one thinking, “How is this not at least slightly relevant?”

After my first bout with COVID in 2022, my labs continued to act like they were auditioning for a medical drama. My ANA titer stayed persistently elevated, tied to… well, basically nothing anyone was particularly concerned about, catch this, because no one knows much about this one! This little guy could robe a bank and get away with it. The reports would always include this cryptic little note at the bottom: “Pattern is rare in systemic sclerosis, Raynaud’s phenomenon, and some malignancies.” Every single time, I’d think, Well, I don’t have cancer—I’ve had enough scans over the years to prove that. So, end scene, right? What could it possibly be?

Naturally, I decided to moonlight as a self-taught immunologist. Why not add that to my growing resume of amateur specialties, which already includes radiology, general surgery, orthopedics, and gastroenterology? Impressive, right? Dr. Me, PhD in Googling My Own Medical Records.

For years, I convinced myself my elevated ANA was tied to Breast Implant Illness (Which, let’s be honest, I don’t even know how I feel about that with this new turn of events. However I do have a theory I will share in a later blog). But now, WTH!!

Enter my unexpected and unwelcome invasive tumor, stage left (literally). If my ANA titer could potentially be tied to malignancy, why wouldn’t someone say, “Hey, maybe we should take a peek at this blood situation?” But it is considered no man’s land and we are not worried and don’t really care. Bye bye. (Plus remember, they have no clue about this little stain).

And here’s the kicker—you walk into a routine doctor’s visit feeling great, and they hit you with a lab order longer than a CVS receipt: “Let’s check this, that, and oh, can you also hop on one foot?” Even the ER runs every test imaginable—shoutout to the $100 pregnancy test they billed my insurance for, despite the minor detail of me not having a uterus (yes, that actually happened).

But cancer staging? Nothing. No labs. Not even a casual, “Hey, how’s your liver holding up?” I’m sorry, what?!

I'll ask again - "Could any of those past lab issues tie into staging?" Apparently not. From everything I’ve read (and trust me, I’ve read all the things), blood work doesn’t tell you how far cancer has spread, so it’s not part of the official staging process. But am I the only one sitting here thinking, “How is this not even slightly relevant?”

Just in case you are interested in a direct answer from Dr. Google/ChatGpt - Here it is …

Staging cancer relies on imaging (CT, MRI, PET scans) and biopsies to determine tumor size and whether it has spread. Blood labs, while great for monitoring overall health, organ function, or treatment effects, don’t provide the anatomical details needed for staging. So, no, it’s not about difficulty or laziness—it’s just not how the system works. Doesn’t mean it makes sense, though. (SIDE NOTE FROM ME: WHAT ABOUT A BASELINE PEOPLE)

FOR THE ONES WHO JUST GET IT

And yes, I know I said I’d be radio silent, but let’s be real—that was never going to last. Just a few thoughts, easy blogging, no interrogation required.

Also, I may need to start a running list of everyone’s responses to sugar. WOW. You guys really get me.

In the meantime—drop a comment or shoot me a text: 

Am I the only one completely floored here, or am I just embarrassingly late to the “that’s how cancer rolls” party? Rebecca, I already know you’re locked in. Who else is riding this train with me? You know who you are.