Chemo, Journals, and the Unexpected Side Effect: Writing

Post Chemo Day Two: Keeping Score

Let’s get straight to it: Today, I am winning! (More on that later—suspense is everything.)

For those keeping meticulous records (and you know who you are), the Nolesta shot went off at 9:30 PM sharp last night. It did its thing for an hour—probably running some secret diagnostic on my willpower—and this morning, I peeled it off like an old sticker on a lunchbox. Very satisfying.

And that’s it. That’s the entire riveting update. Thrilling, I know. But before I deliver the official Day 2 Post-Chemo Scoreboard, I’m obviously going to go on a little tangent first. Because despite today being a win, let’s talk about the one thing trying to ruin my moment: everything tastes like metal. Sugar? Pennies. Chicken? A spoonful of nickels. My favorite snacks? Betrayed me. It’s like my mouth has turned into a poorly maintained coin-operated vending machine, and honestly, I would like a refund. Buckle up.

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So, Am I Still Winning?

Okay, so would we still call it a win if I have my first side effect and everything tastes like metal? Absolutely everything.

I can eat mints. I think I had a zinc gummy, and it was okay… until the end. I did a little searching (because obviously, I needed answers), and in the end—yeah, I have a metallic mouth. What is this sorcery called?

Meet Dysgeusia: My Mouth Taste Like a Rusty Spoon?

Apparently, the fancy term for this delightful experience is dysgeusia—which is just a clinical way of saying, Surprise! Everything tastes like spare change! That lovely metallic taste (aka chemo mouth) is a common side effect of chemo and happens because:

🔬 Chemo Messes With Taste Buds – Your taste receptors get irritated or damaged, making everything taste off, metallic, or just plain weird.

🩸 Changes in Saliva & pH Levels – Chemo alters saliva composition, which can enhance metallic or bitter flavors.

🚰 Dehydration – Less saliva means more concentrated minerals in your mouth, which can trigger that metallic taste.

🛑 Chemo Kicks Out Zinc & Iron – Lower levels of these minerals can make your taste buds extra sensitive to metallic flavors.

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What Can You Do?

✔ Stay Hydrated – Try lemon water, cucumber water, or electrolyte drinks (plain water can taste awful).
✔ Eat with Plastic or Bamboo Utensils – Metal utensils can make it worse.
✔ Suck on Mints or Sour Candy – Helps override the metallic taste.
✔ Try Different Proteins – Chicken and red meat might taste off; eggs, beans, or tofu may be easier.
✔ Use Non-Metallic Cookware – Stainless steel can make food taste more metallic; glass or ceramic helps.
✔ Rinse with Baking Soda & Salt Water – Neutralizes pH and removes lingering tastes.

💡 Good News? This usually fades after chemo, but until then, bring on the lemon water and plastic forks.

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Afternoon Shenanigans: LC & Krysti Edition

Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any better, LC and Krysti stormed in like a chaotic comedy act. LC took it upon herself to diagnose all my current ailments—whether it was my dry lips (which, apparently, I’ve been aggressively picking) or my metallic mouth (which she has now dedicated herself to solving with a full-blown research project and a PSA to the masses). Meanwhile, Krysti—fully aware that LC’s ADHD meds had definitely worn off by 5 PM—was just trying to rein her in. (“Maybe let’s pick just one crisis at a time?”)

Between LC’s ability to turn every minor inconvenience into a mission and Krysti’s deadpan reality checks, I was thoroughly entertained and expertly distracted from my spare change mouth situation. Honestly, if laughter is the best medicine, these two should be billing my insurance.

And because the universe really wanted me to win today, two crucial items arrived:

1. Temporary Eyebrow Tattoos – Because I refuse to relive Zoe’s no-eyebrows phase, and if I’m going to lose mine, I at least want the option of fabulous ones. (Wait… not fabulous. Anything but that.)
2. The Chemo Mug – My new favorite possession. It boldly declares its future destruction post-treatment, and I fully intend to smash it into a thousand pieces like some kind of victorious Greek wedding plate-breaking ceremony. Stay tuned for that event.

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Final Score Check: Still Winning-ish

·                Taught my private clients? ✅

·                Bonded with my cats? ✅

·                Went out to lunch with Charlotte? ✅

·                Visit from Jess? ✅ (Protein salad, fudge, and candy heaven.)

·                Afternoon visit from LC & Krysti? ✅ (Comedic relief at its finest.)

·                Temporary eyebrow tattoos arrived? ✅ (So long, patchy brows.)

·                My new chemo mug? ✅ (Future debris.) 

·                Complaints? Just one.

·                Meds? Still no.

·                Metallic mouth? Unfortunately, yes.

Chemo gets half a point, but I’m still in the lead.

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Chemo, Journals, and the Unexpected Side Effect: Writing

As if dealing with my taste buds staging a rebellion wasn’t enough, somehow this whole Breast Cancer Sh*t Show and Chemo thing has turned me into a writer. A consistent writer, no less. And that, my friends, is truly unexpected.

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A Love-Hate Relationship with Writing

Some of you have asked, “Do you like to write?” The answer is a resounding hell no. Was I always a writer? Also no. I think I stopped writing cohesive sentences the day my college professor read my end-of-year term paper and said, “You really need to know when to walk away from something and start over.” Are you freaking kidding me? That was the last time I wrote anything for myself. Thanks for the trauma, Professor.

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Journals: My Scattered Monuments to Good Intentions

And then there’s the follow-up: “Do you keep a journal?” Well, technically, yes. I own a dozen of them. They’re all so different and pretty, with cool features like elastic closures or satisfying snaps that convinced me I needed them. (Chip would call this my version of not checking the pantry before shopping. You know what I mean—like when you realize you’ve stockpiled enough pasta to survive an apocalypse.)

Each journal was probably bought during a dramatic chapter in my life:

·                You’re pregnant? Start a baby gift business!

·                You have breast cancer? Time to journal about it.

·                Insert kid’s name here is going to camp/college/therapy!

Each one has a few scribbled titles, a to-do list, some cryptic doctor’s notes, and maybe a rant about whatever nonsense happened that day. No rhyme, no reason, and definitely no follow-through. Most of the pages are blank, and these journals are scattered all over the house like little monuments to all the future goals and endeavors I swear I’m going to tackle someday.

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The Delusional To-Do List

Then there’s the list. You know the one:

·                Write a book.

·                Sew outdoor cushion covers.

·                Redo the master bathroom.

·                Finish the attic.

Basically, a mix of overachievement and straight-up delusion. On one hand, there’s the me who designed and built a walk-in closet from scratch with actual wood, like a legit carpenter (yes, still so proud of that achievement). On the other hand, there’s the me who still hasn’t digitalized all my photos or put that last coat of paint on the wall. Balance, right?

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My New Favorite Obsession: Digital Journaling

Then this uninvited, messed-up cancer showed up, not like the first one, and suddenly I’m two days post-op, stuck in bed, unable to sit on my butt. So I started jotting notes in my iPhone app. Each note had a sarcastic title because, well, what else would you expect? But let’s be real: the Notes app is not designed for this. I needed a better system.

Naturally, I grabbed one of my old journals, glanced at all my scattered thoughts, and promptly said, “Nope, not doing that.” That’s when I discovered my latest obsession: a journaling app. It’s beautifully organized, lets my OCD run wild, and somehow, all my thoughts are in order. It’s like I found religion, but for stationery addicts.

Suddenly, my pages are full. FULL! And they’re organized. It’s a damn miracle. Now, when my brain floods with thoughts, I channel it into entries instead of doom-scrolling the internet for three hours. I’ll start one journal entry, then another, then tweak both, and suddenly I’ve got dozens of entries and hundreds of random thoughts. My current goal? 365 entries in a year. I’m only 265 topics away—no big deal.

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For now, let’s circle back to the real question. Wait… what were we talking about again?

🪙 The Metal Mouth Challenge: Because I need to know you are with me now! 🪙

🥇Betray a Food: If you could curse one food to forever taste like metal, what would it be? (Something you love but wish you didn’t? Or something overrated that needs to be stopped?)

🥈Ultimate Food Betrayal: If one food you love suddenly tasted like pennies, which would ruin your life the most?

Drop your answers below, because we’re in this together—one absurd food betrayal at a time. Some of us are making heartbreaking sacrifices, while others are gleefully using this as a chance to exile (insert hated food here) forever. No judgment. Just camaraderie, laughter, and the collective horror of a world where coffee tastes like pennies. Let’s hear it!