Surviving Chemo & Houseguests—A Guide for All of Us
Week Two Post-Chemo: The Gift That Keeps on Giving
The beginning of the week was challenging, but today? Great. I climbed ladders, changed lightbulbs, did all the laundry, cleaned the floors, ran the dishwasher—basically, I cleaned everything that didn’t run away from me. And guess what? I felt amazing.
Caity, no cleaning necessary Monday! I don’t want to jinx
myself, so I’m not going to say it, but...
The Last Few Days: Small Wins Edition
✅ Spent an amazing day with
Lindsey. (Recently retired, maid of honor and I’m known as her imaginary
friend to her inner circle) Solid company, solid laughs, zero drama. Win.
✅
Kept my lunch down until 4 PM. In this house, that’s what we call progress.
✅
LC finally brought my Girl Scout cookies. Mint always helps the
belly (and the breath). Priorities.
✅
Kim’s bag of surprises and her delicious soup. Hit. The. Spot.
The woman gets it.
✅
Linda delivered dinner for the family. And the best chocolate chip bars!
One less thing to think about. Major win.
✅
Joelle sent over beautiful flowers. I mean, you had me at flowers. Also we need as many things possible looking
fresh and alive around here.
✅
Each day is getting a little easier. Believe it or not, we’re trending
in the right direction.
Chemo Belly, Chemo Acne, Chemo—Everything
At this point, I’ve realized that if you Google any weird
side effect and slap the word chemo in front of it, chances are it’s
already a thing. Bloating? Chemo belly. Breakouts? Chemo acne.
Brain fog? Oh yes, chemo brain. Fatigue? Naturally, chemo fatigue.
Who is naming these? Is there a committee? Because if we’re
just tacking chemo onto every ailment, let’s get creative. Chemo
why-did-I-walk-into-this-room-again? The possibilities are endless.
Honestly, if someone told me I had Chemo Borborygmus tomorrow,
I’d just nod and accept it (and if you know what that means WITHOUT looking
it up, I need to hear from you). At this point, I don’t question anything.
My body is basically a science experiment, and I’m just here for the ride.
Chemo Acne: The Unwanted Facial
As if the universe hadn’t thrown enough curveballs, enter chemo
acne. Apparently, chemotherapy can cause acne-like rashes on the face and
body. It literally looks and feels like the chicken pox!! It’s like my body is purging oil from every
possible pore in preparation for the grand event of hair loss. I resemble a
connect-the-dots puzzle, with delightful spots gracing my scalp, face, and even
my arms. Good times.
Now it’s the weekend, and despite the chemo belly,
chemo acne, chemo scalp (because apparently, my head is also
joining the party with next-level itchiness), and whatever chemo chaos
comes next, I’m still here, still standing (well, mostly), and still
racking up the small-but-mighty victories.
And because you have asked…
JJ’s Visitor Guidelines
Because I Love You, But I Also Know I Should Rest
Everyone asks me to let them know when I’ve had enough. Or
how long they should stay. I’m only posting this because you have asked.
This isn’t a passive-aggressive hint, it’s just me trying to make this easy on
all of us.
I love visitors. Many of you know I’ve never been the
last one standing at my own parties. Let’s be real—I’ve Irish exited my own
gatherings more times than I can count. By 10 PM, I’m already upstairs, in
bed, completely done with you all. Some nights, I don’t even make it to 9.
And yet, you’ve stayed, made yourselves at home, and that’s exactly how I’ve
always wanted it.
My greatest joy has been making my home a place where my
people feel comfortable, welcome, and loved. Having you around me is literally
my dream come true. And if this wasn’t my reality right now, there’s no
way in hell I’d ever want any of you to leave.
But the truth is, this is taking a toll on my body,
and I’m only two weeks post-chemo from my first round. I can’t even
imagine what’s coming, and if I don’t set some ground rules now, I’ll be too
exhausted to do it later. And let’s be honest—are you really going to want
to come visit me four months from now when I’m at my worst? This is the
warm-up phase, people. It’s going to get harder.
So Here’s the Deal:
✅ Quick Visit? Under an Hour.
If you’re just popping in to check on me, drop off some gossip, or say hi, an
hour max is perfect. After that, I will start shifting, faking bathroom breaks,
or maybe just disappear completely.
✅ Primary Visitor? 1.5 - 2.5
Hours Max.
If you’ve committed to a babysitting shift or a longer visit, I love that. But
even for you, there’s a 2.5-hour expiration time before my energy is
shot, and I become completely useless.
How to Know It’s Time to Leave:
- I say,
“Welp, I think I need to rest now.” (This is not a test. Take the
cue.)
- I
literally fall asleep.
- I get
up and never come back.
I appreciate every visit and all the love you’re
sending my way. Just know that the best way to support me is to follow
these guidelines so I can keep my energy in check—and not have to ghost
my own house.
And if you’re wondering what the golden ticket is? Still
searching.
The Challenge Is Now On YOU!
OMG!!! 😂🥰 I absolutely
love the fact that when I asked everyone what food makes them feel better
when their stomach’s upset, 99.9% of you immediately associated it with
being hungover. And that is exactly why I love my people.
So talk to me... let me know you’re out there, alive, and
not just silently lurking like a weirdo. Text me or drop a comment
with a creative challenge question—something fun, something ridiculous,
something that makes me laugh (or at least roll my eyes in appreciation).
Oh, and don’t forget to answer your own question. You
can’t just throw out, “What’s the most embarrassing text you’ve ever sent to
the wrong person?” and then disappear. You
better be ready to relive that horror with me. Commit. 😉
(P.S. I promise CG, this is not aimed at you. Xoxo)
❤️
ReplyDelete❤️❤️
DeleteHave you ever had your underwear fall out of the leg of your jeans while walking across a major town intersection? And was the said foundational garment a red lace Hanky Panky thong?
ReplyDeleteThat *may* have happened in Manchester-by-the-Sea many moons ago (before I moved on to sensible seamless Chantelle bloomers).
This was long before Ring cameras so there is no lingering (or lingerie-I g?) evidence.
By any chance are you a Gemini?
DeleteYup!!!
Delete🥰guidelines much appreciated! We will still be around in 4 months if you want us. You are a warrior!!
ReplyDelete❤️❤️💙
DeleteHahahhahahahaha I did NOT feel it was aimed at me until you said you promise it’s not! I’m dying 🤣🤣
ReplyDelete❤️❤️💙❤️😂😂😂😂
DeleteThis is also me!
DeleteI didn’t comment my hangover : upset stomach fav because it’s SO cliche. And so by the books. But truly it’s all I ever want. And I always buy it.
ReplyDeleteChildren’s pedialyte. Orange flavor only. Others are gross.
This was me. Caity!
DeleteOk so my question is regarding once you’re all better. When this shit is all over and you’re on the other side- If you could only work out ONE muscle group for the rest of your life, what would it be??!!! Answer JJ! Although I’m pretty sure I know the answer. Who knows maybe you’ll surprise me. I’ll answer after you!
ReplyDeleteDo I honestly have to say it? Everyone knows!! CORE!!!! Now, who is this and yours better be the same. Because we all know if you are working your core you have to work every muscle (or you’ll get knocked over). Xoxo
DeleteWHY am I anonymous!??!?
DeleteWho is your favorite child of ours? Mine is Zoe!
ReplyDelete- Chip
Mine too!!!!!
DeleteOk I figured it out and any time if it was me as anonymous in the past it was NOT ON PURPOSE 🤣🫣
ReplyDeleteIt was defaulting to “anonymous”!
ReplyDelete