The Highs & Lows: Spoons, Sorbet & Survival

Post-Chemo Weekend Update

Before we dive in, a quick reminder: I share and document all of this for many reasons. But most importantly, it’s for those who truly want to know what this experience is like in real-time—the good, the bad, the weird, and the "are you kidding me"?

Because let’s be honest, cancer isn’t just a battle; it’s a full-blown circus—complete with bizarre side effects, unpredictable plot twists, and a body that no longer follows basic rules of logic. And if I’m going through it, you bet I’m going to tell the story with love, humor, and just the right amount of exasperation.

Some days, this feels like an absurd medical scavenger hunt: Find the one thing that doesn’t taste like a rusty fence. Locate the missing energy levels. Solve the mystery of why my nostrils feel flabby. Other days, it’s a traffic jam where chemo and IBS-C play an endless game of chicken. Either way, I’m here to document it all—raw, real, and with a healthy dose of sarcasm.

So buckle up, grab a snack (preferably something that doesn’t taste like pennies), and let’s get into it.

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🏆 The Wins: Small Victories Matter

🥓 Breakfast Victory
Lynne delivered the holy grail of breakfast sandwiches—egg, cheese, and bacon on an English muffin from West Street Café. Never been there before, but damn, that was a game-changer. Consider me a believer.

🍪 Small Mercies
Not everything tastes like a rusty spoon, and that alone is worth celebrating. Mini brownie? Delicious. Freshly baked Linda scone, made with love? Absolute chef’s kiss perfection.

👨‍👩‍👦 Best Part
Jake came home for the long weekend! No explanation needed. Just pure joy wrapped in a much-needed visit.

🍽️ Family Dinner Shenanigans
Enchanté lived up to its name with a great dinner alongside Zoe, Jake, Zach, and yes, even Chip. The real entertainment? The endless battle for a plastic fork. Every time they took it away, I asked for another. Eventually, the waitress hesitantly asked if I preferred eating with plastic. Oh, isn’t she adorable?

🍍 Citrus to the Rescue
Chip, armed with my citrus wish list, headed to Shaw’s. Pineapple, kiwi, lemon, oranges… citrus for the win! And Zoe? She’s now on a mission to stock the fridge with island sorbet cups from BJ’s—purely for my benefit, of course. I mean, it has nothing to do with the fact that she loves those things. Wink wink.

🥢 Sunday Dunch with the Rents & Family
China Jade was on the menu. A guaranteed gastronomic nightmare, but absolutely necessary. Sometimes, tradition wins over good sense.

📺 Chip & I Watching Mindhunter Together
Because nothing says quality time like profiling serial killers. A small but solid win.

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🚦 IBS-C vs. Chemo: Traffic Update

Picture a highway. IBS-C has thrown down the barricades, shutting everything down like an overworked toll booth operator who just walked off the job. The boulder—yes, that boulder—is still squatting in the middle of the road, unmoved, unbothered, and stubborn as ever.

Enter magnesium citrate, rolling in like a cleanup crew, jackhammer in hand, chipping off a few fragments but failing to break the damn thing apart. Meanwhile, chemo, that unpredictable maniac, just swerves around the whole mess, barreling through the emergency lane at full speed, leaving chaos in its wake.

In a shocking twist, China Jade Chinese food (which, if you’re not from Beverly, probably ranks as the grossest Chinese food you’ve ever had) somehow managed to strong-arm both into forming an actual stool. A rare victory. 

Who will win? Who will lose? Who will eventually wave the white flag? Stay tuned—because this war isn’t over yet. However, it's now bedtime, and the fight continues. So, I’m tapping out for now.

🚧 The battle continues.

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🔥 The Skin Situation: A Chemo Side Quest No One Asked For

As if nausea, abdominal cramps, mouth pain, and fatigue weren’t enough, let’s talk about my skin and muscles—because what in the actual hell is happening here?

• Skin Laxity & Muscle Flabbiness: Chemo wrecks fast-growing cells, including those in the skin and muscles. The result? Skin that feels weirdly stretched out and muscles that feel… flabby. But not just the usual suspects like my stomach and ass—even my nostrils. Why? No clue, but it’s happening.

• Burning Lips: This delightful feature is likely chemotherapy-induced mucositis, a fun little inflammation that makes lips, mouth, and tongue feel like they’ve been torched for no reason. They look fine. They do not feel fine.

• Incision Discomfort (But Not Actually Opening Up): My donor site feels like it’s splitting open, but it’s not. The healing process combined with nerve regeneration is making my body send false alarms. Fantastic.

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Highs & Lows: Your Turn

Just because… back when the kids were little, we’d sit at the dinner table and go around asking everyone’s high and low for the weekend. So now, I’m asking you.

I want to know.

🚨 The Low: A Very Strong "No, Thank You"

I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to purposely poison my body just to feel like I’ve been hit by a truck, dragged through a ditch, and left to marinate in nausea. Hard pass. Except, of course, that’s not actually an option, so here I am—voluntarily signing up for this premium misery package in the name of survival. What a scam.

🎉 The High: Family Chaos & Good Distractions

Jake and Zoe (and Zach) were home, Cameron came to visit, and for a while, life felt like a normal, happy, non-chemo-ridden existence. No hospital gowns, no IV poles—just food, laughter, and the comforting sound of someone stealing my plastic fork.

(And for those of you wondering WTF Sam and Fran were up to—Sam had sinus surgery and is recovering at her apartment with Fran playing the role of nurse, snack supplier, and moral support. She’s doing fine, minus the part where breathing through her nose is currently optional.)

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So now, it’s your turn. What’s your high? What’s your low? Tell me. I promise I’ll read them, as long as I’m not too busy battling rogue boulders, flabby nostrils, or yet another mystery side effect no one warned me about.